Vulnerable

Seb had a rough night with Zac.  There was talk about transferring him to intensive care as his numbers weren’t looking good.  His temperature was over 40 and not responding well to paracetamol, his blood oxygen was low, so he was placed on an oxygen mask, and his pulse rate was high, around 215 bpm.  Weirdly I have a dream around 5am at home that Zac is on an oxygen mask.  When I wake up and check my phone, I ask Sue and Keith to come over early so I can head straight to the hospital.  By the time I arrive, his sats have settled down somewhat, although he still has a fever and is requiring oxygen.  The doctors want to run some tests to check for any infections in his lungs or kidneys, including a CT scan and an ultrasound.  It is not an easy watch as we move Zac from his dark hospital room to the stark bright light of the radiology ward, still on his bed and attached to various machines.  His skin is red and peeling, his lips are scabbed and ulcerated, and his mouth is full of thick mucous he keeps trying to spit up.  Understandably, Zac is not particularly compliant for the tests, but the radiographer manages to get what he needs, reassuring us there is no infection but confirming that there is a lot of colitis; inflammation throughout his gut, explaining the tummy pain and diarrhoea.  We intensely wish the next week away and wait anxiously for his little body to start fighting back.  He is still receiving regular blood transfusions that helps maintain his red blood cell and platelet count.  You can’t receive a white blood cell transfusion, so his immune system is pretty much non existent until the stem cells start to work their magic and his own bone marrow starts producing white cells again.  These times are tense as he is so vulnerable right now and the risk of infection is massive.